Boiling
by saketini
Summary: Canonverse, 1977. America thinks it's a lovely idea to surprise England with a microwave as a present.


_This is silly. Apologies in advance._

* * *

_1977 ~_

"Ta dah!"

"What is it?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

America proudly patted the silver box England had just unwrapped. The younger had barged into his home shouting about an "awesome present"before banging it onto England's counter top with an excited dance. It was large, heavy, and shiny.

"One of those…things?"

"Microwave oven!" He waved his arms excitedly in the air for emphasis, oversized sleeves flopping down to his elbows.

"Yes?"

"You can cook with it."

"So I've heard."

"Yeah, but _you_ can cook with it."

"Don't start."

America began to pout when he realized that he was not going to get his desired reaction out of England, scuffing his sneakers against the floors.

England glared at his own slippers and clenched his hands into fists around the shiny wrapping paper that remained in his hands.

_Don't do it. He's trying to get a reaction out of you. Don't fall for it._

"Ah, it's fine. It was rude of me to just show up. I'll move it, okay?"

_Shit._

"Oh, don't do that to the linoleum. It was very thoughtful of you, love. Tell me about your present."

"Yeah! It heats stuff by pushing microwave radiation through it. The molecules get excited and wiggle around and produce energy which makes it hot. We should make popcorn."

"Ah… maybe some other time."

"You can make tea!"

"Yes, but," he reached up to pat at the other's shoulder but thought better of it, awkwardly jerking back his hand to smooth his own hair, "I have the kettle for that."

"But that's so old fashioned."

"It works quite well."

"Tony likes ours."

"I'm sure he does."

"I'll show you, it's fun."

He grabbed a tea cup off the counter by the sink only to have it snatched out of his hands by England and replaced by a cheaper, less favorite glass. America laughed, but didn't protest, filling it in the sink and popping it the oven with a random twist of the timer.

"It's just water, not like you can do anything to it," he justified the haphazard setting with a shrug and a grin. "Show me your nerdy embroidery stuff."

He laughed again when England threw a lump of wrapping paper at his head and trailed after him into the sitting room. Obligatory teasing completed, they made small talk about neutral conversation topics until the oven signaled it's completion with a cheerful ding.

America ran back inside and opened the door with an excited cheer.

"Yes, truly lovely. It looks the same."

"Now it's hot though."

England suppressed a rather warranted eye roll.

"It's not boiling."

"It's not supposed to be, it's just hot."

Rather than pouting again, he leaned forward to grab the glass to prove his point. His fingertips touched the edge and it abruptly cracked down the side with a deep splintering noise like the splitting of granite that thudded in England's eardrums. Apparently it was worse closer to the source, as America abruptly pulled his hands back to grab at his ears. Seeing that it had only disrupted the water, which seemed to be in a hurry to catch up on boiling, England grabbed him around the waist and tugged him back before the steam could hit him in the face and arms. The landed in a heap on the floor, America's head thunking into England's chest.

They lay on the floor for a minute, America's glasses defogging while England's arms remained firmly around his waist.

"Oh!" he chirped finally. "Looks like it superheated."

"Let's," he cleared his throat dryly and patted the other on the head before continuing, "Let's stick with the kettle, dear."

They managed to justify remaining in the same position for another few minutes before scattering, flushed and embarrassed, to find a broom and dustpan.

* * *

_I've never overheated water in the microwave but I have accidentally put non-microwave safe plates in there. They crack with such an awful noise that you can really feel in your eardrums. I wouldn't recommend it. _

_Don't worry, I have an electric kettle for tea. _


End file.
